Comments on: Women-only baby showers: Empowering or stereotypical? http://www.about-face.org/women-only-baby-showers-empowering-or-stereotypical/ Wed, 05 Jun 2013 08:05:52 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.4.1 By: Sophie http://www.about-face.org/women-only-baby-showers-empowering-or-stereotypical/#comment-731 Sophie Sat, 24 Oct 2009 23:39:13 +0000 http://about-face.org/blog/?p=1774#comment-731 My biggest problem with most baby showers (though I know things are changing a bit and everyone is different in what kind of shower they want, etc. etc.) is that they so often involve activities and games that are embarrassing and infantilizing for the actual women in attendance. Making grown women eat baby food? What is that? Why does an all-female shower have to include women acting like babies? It's so weird! I can't imagine a man would be too psyched to take part in that kind of silliness, and I can't blame them at all. I agree with several of these commenters -- baby showers could just be a celebration for the expecting couple (BOTH parents), given by friends and family members of both sexes. That'd be cool. My biggest problem with most baby showers (though I know things are changing a bit and everyone is different in what kind of shower they want, etc. etc.) is that they so often involve activities and games that are embarrassing and infantilizing for the actual women in attendance. Making grown women eat baby food? What is that? Why does an all-female shower have to include women acting like babies? It’s so weird! I can’t imagine a man would be too psyched to take part in that kind of silliness, and I can’t blame them at all.

I agree with several of these commenters — baby showers could just be a celebration for the expecting couple (BOTH parents), given by friends and family members of both sexes. That’d be cool.

]]> By: Zoe http://www.about-face.org/women-only-baby-showers-empowering-or-stereotypical/#comment-730 Zoe Tue, 20 Oct 2009 12:54:32 +0000 http://about-face.org/blog/?p=1774#comment-730 Though men may never be able to experience the actual, physical sensation of giving birth, they play an invaluable role in the birth process and the nurturing and raising of the child. I believe it is unfair to exclude either partner from any part of the social reproduction process, and I also believe it is unfair to put more of the onus of reproduction on either partner. As a symbol of this entire birthing, raising, and social reproduction process, the baby shower should be an environment that places both partners in a position of importance and includes participants of both sexes. Though men may never be able to experience the actual, physical sensation of giving birth, they play an invaluable role in the birth process and the nurturing and raising of the child. I believe it is unfair to exclude either partner from any part of the social reproduction process, and I also believe it is unfair to put more of the onus of reproduction on either partner. As a symbol of this entire birthing, raising, and social reproduction process, the baby shower should be an environment that places both partners in a position of importance and includes participants of both sexes.

]]> By: hmmm http://www.about-face.org/women-only-baby-showers-empowering-or-stereotypical/#comment-729 hmmm Fri, 16 Oct 2009 22:53:56 +0000 http://about-face.org/blog/?p=1774#comment-729 A baby shower with feminist values seems like a contradiction in terms. A real feminist would advocate to end this patriarchal patronage that plays to the illusion of female power through matriarchal gate-keeping. Those patriarchs are clever and wiley critters, they leave no stone unturned in their persistent manipulations that are designed to get women to hold themselves down. A baby shower with feminist values seems like a contradiction in terms. A real feminist would advocate to end this patriarchal patronage that plays to the illusion of female power through matriarchal gate-keeping. Those patriarchs are clever and wiley critters, they leave no stone unturned in their persistent manipulations that are designed to get women to hold themselves down.

]]> By: Abed Yamout http://www.about-face.org/women-only-baby-showers-empowering-or-stereotypical/#comment-728 Abed Yamout Thu, 15 Oct 2009 19:54:58 +0000 http://about-face.org/blog/?p=1774#comment-728 In the end its just a party! does it really need that much debate. if the guy feels like it go, if not don't, the baby isnt even born yet anyways. In the end its just a party! does it really need that much debate. if the guy feels like it go, if not don’t, the baby isnt even born yet anyways.

]]> By: C Spencer http://www.about-face.org/women-only-baby-showers-empowering-or-stereotypical/#comment-727 C Spencer Thu, 15 Oct 2009 04:19:17 +0000 http://about-face.org/blog/?p=1774#comment-727 My husband and I attended the baby shower for my grandson (who is now 14). No silly games, no female estrogen fest - and it was fun and both of us had a good time. My son was there and the Patrick's other grandfather as well. More of a family affair than a friends party. Baby showers are for family I think. If your friends want to throw a party, then do that but separate from a family get together. My husband and I attended the baby shower for my grandson (who is now 14). No silly games, no female estrogen fest – and it was fun and both of us had a good time. My son was there and the Patrick’s other grandfather as well. More of a family affair than a friends party. Baby showers are for family I think. If your friends want to throw a party, then do that but separate from a family get together.

]]> By: L Joanow http://www.about-face.org/women-only-baby-showers-empowering-or-stereotypical/#comment-726 L Joanow Wed, 14 Oct 2009 23:19:02 +0000 http://about-face.org/blog/?p=1774#comment-726 How about a blessing way to empower and encourage the birthing woman if you want to do something feminist and female centered. I think the materialistic and competative shopping focus of showers is what turns men and some women off. How about a blessing way to empower and encourage the birthing woman if you want to do something feminist and female centered. I think the materialistic and competative shopping focus of showers is what turns men and some women off.

]]> By: sabrina http://www.about-face.org/women-only-baby-showers-empowering-or-stereotypical/#comment-725 sabrina Wed, 14 Oct 2009 22:38:15 +0000 http://about-face.org/blog/?p=1774#comment-725 Perhaps the traditional/stereotypical kind of baby shower is a "female thing" and the kind of event that most men would consider boring and awkward, but it doesn't have to be that way. My problem with baby showers being for women only is that it makes the statement that women should be alone in raising a child. Many single mothers are. But for those who are lucky enough to have the support of a partner, why shouldn't their partner be involved in the process of birthing or raising a child? If the partner not giving birth wanted to create a child and start a family, why shouldn't they be involved with the whole process? A baby shower doesn't need to be an estrogen fest with silly games. It can look however you want it to look. Maybe even calling it a baby shower is outdated. Basically, I think this kind of event should celebrate the baby on the way and help prepare and support the parents. This should probably involve gifts in the form of baby stuff, but what else is involved should reflect the personalities of the couple and their guests. I think that focusing on the pregnant mother as a separate event would be a better idea. Maybe having a sort of "mother shower" in addition would be more fun, and a way to preserve female bonding while still setting the tone for equal parenting in a baby shower with men and women. This "mother shower" could be a sort of girls night, and the pregnant woman could receive gifts for herself from her friends. Pregnant women have enough to go through, they could usually use the extra support and appreciation. Perhaps the traditional/stereotypical kind of baby shower is a “female thing” and the kind of event that most men would consider boring and awkward, but it doesn’t have to be that way.

My problem with baby showers being for women only is that it makes the statement that women should be alone in raising a child. Many single mothers are. But for those who are lucky enough to have the support of a partner, why shouldn’t their partner be involved in the process of birthing or raising a child?

If the partner not giving birth wanted to create a child and start a family, why shouldn’t they be involved with the whole process?

A baby shower doesn’t need to be an estrogen fest with silly games. It can look however you want it to look. Maybe even calling it a baby shower is outdated.

Basically, I think this kind of event should celebrate the baby on the way and help prepare and support the parents. This should probably involve gifts in the form of baby stuff, but what else is involved should reflect the personalities of the couple and their guests.

I think that focusing on the pregnant mother as a separate event would be a better idea.

Maybe having a sort of “mother shower” in addition would be more fun, and a way to preserve female bonding while still setting the tone for equal parenting in a baby shower with men and women. This “mother shower” could be a sort of girls night, and the pregnant woman could receive gifts for herself from her friends. Pregnant women have enough to go through, they could usually use the extra support and appreciation.

]]> By: dina zeckhausen http://www.about-face.org/women-only-baby-showers-empowering-or-stereotypical/#comment-724 dina zeckhausen Tue, 13 Oct 2009 12:35:32 +0000 http://about-face.org/blog/?p=1774#comment-724 I have been to a number of baby showers which included men, including my own 14 years ago. It was important to have the men in attendance, and I couldn't imagine it any other way! The fathers of the baby-to-be participated in all the fun games (trivia regarding the pregnancy and the impending delivery) and we also had a time where experienced parents (including Dads) offered the new parents advice, on everything from pacifiers to putting the baby in the bed with us. Dads are so much more involved in parenting babies these days, it seems unfair to exclude them from these fun (and sometimes hilarious) celebrations! I have been to a number of baby showers which included men, including my own 14 years ago. It was important to have the men in attendance, and I couldn’t imagine it any other way! The fathers of the baby-to-be participated in all the fun games (trivia regarding the pregnancy and the impending delivery) and we also had a time where experienced parents (including Dads) offered the new parents advice, on everything from pacifiers to putting the baby in the bed with us. Dads are so much more involved in parenting babies these days, it seems unfair to exclude them from these fun (and sometimes hilarious) celebrations!

]]> By: Abed Yamout http://www.about-face.org/women-only-baby-showers-empowering-or-stereotypical/#comment-723 Abed Yamout Tue, 13 Oct 2009 11:59:53 +0000 http://about-face.org/blog/?p=1774#comment-723 I agree, lets keep it a girl thing! I agree, lets keep it a girl thing!

]]> By: teresa http://www.about-face.org/women-only-baby-showers-empowering-or-stereotypical/#comment-722 teresa Mon, 12 Oct 2009 22:49:02 +0000 http://about-face.org/blog/?p=1774#comment-722 Giving birth is a unique and wonderful woman experience, as is being a mother. Let's keep this a women/girl event. I don't know a single man who would even want to go! Giving birth is a unique and wonderful woman experience, as is being a mother. Let’s keep this a women/girl event. I don’t know a single man who would even want to go!

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