Comments on: Why Gabrielle Reece’s retro recipe for marital bliss is, uh, wrong http://www.about-face.org/why-gabrielle-reeces-retro-recipe-for-marital-bliss-is-uh-wrong/ Wed, 05 Jun 2013 08:05:52 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.4.1 By: Audrey Brashich http://www.about-face.org/why-gabrielle-reeces-retro-recipe-for-marital-bliss-is-uh-wrong/#comment-135749 Audrey Brashich Tue, 30 Apr 2013 00:43:22 +0000 http://www.about-face.org/?p=14260#comment-135749 This is turning out to be a funny post for me. A colleague of mine shared it on his FB page...and a crazy, hate-filled thread of comments ensued. Wow. So here are some more of my thoughts: First, Reece has written a 'How-to' book, and I consider that fair game for commenting on/critiquing. I mean, if it were just some comments somewhere about her personal life, yeah, then maybe I (or anyone else) would just pipe down. But considering she's advocating this approach for other young women... well, I feel that pretty squarely falls in the public domain and is up for discussion. Plus, people judge. That's what happens. When Amy Hua (last year's Tiger Mom) went public about her parenting style, people weren't like "Lay off. They are her kids and her choice." Nope, there was instead a lot of debate about her parenting choices, her morals, and what effect they will all have on her kids. Similarly, no one is writing off Sheryl Sandberg's as just a personal choice ("Don't judge")--and I don't think we should. I think we should have an open conversation about Leaning In, with some people defending it and others trashing it... so that we can all pick and choose which parts work for us personally. And I think the same process should be allowed to take place surrounding Gabrielle Reece's recommendations. Second, there probably ARE many ways Laird is holding up his part of their bargain, which is precisely why I mentioned in the post that I sure would love to hear him speak up about the how and when. So if anyone happens to come across some commentary from him, please do post the link here. Thirdly, I don't think there's a mother out there (myself included) who doesn't actively serve her family--no matter what approach to marriage etc she takes. That role of serving doesn't seem to have changed that much (as proven by the billion Mommy Blogs that exist as a way for mothers to make sense of what it means to serve their families as they still pursue the personal and professional goals that might hold). Ultimately, I don't think anyone (again, myself included) should publish their thoughts without being able to explain--or take some heat!--for them. So I truly thank everyone for reading this post and sharing their opinions! This is turning out to be a funny post for me. A colleague of mine shared it on his FB page…and a crazy, hate-filled thread of comments ensued. Wow.

So here are some more of my thoughts:

First, Reece has written a ‘How-to’ book, and I consider that fair game for commenting on/critiquing. I mean, if it were just some comments somewhere about her personal life, yeah, then maybe I (or anyone else) would just pipe down. But considering she’s advocating this approach for other young women… well, I feel that pretty squarely falls in the public domain and is up for discussion. Plus, people judge. That’s what happens. When Amy Hua (last year’s Tiger Mom) went public about her parenting style, people weren’t like “Lay off. They are her kids and her choice.” Nope, there was instead a lot of debate about her parenting choices, her morals, and what effect they will all have on her kids. Similarly, no one is writing off Sheryl Sandberg’s as just a personal choice (“Don’t judge”)–and I don’t think we should. I think we should have an open conversation about Leaning In, with some people defending it and others trashing it… so that we can all pick and choose which parts work for us personally. And I think the same process should be allowed to take place surrounding Gabrielle Reece’s recommendations.

Second, there probably ARE many ways Laird is holding up his part of their bargain, which is precisely why I mentioned in the post that I sure would love to hear him speak up about the how and when. So if anyone happens to come across some commentary from him, please do post the link here.

Thirdly, I don’t think there’s a mother out there (myself included) who doesn’t actively serve her family–no matter what approach to marriage etc she takes. That role of serving doesn’t seem to have changed that much (as proven by the billion Mommy Blogs that exist as a way for mothers to make sense of what it means to serve their families as they still pursue the personal and professional goals that might hold).

Ultimately, I don’t think anyone (again, myself included) should publish their thoughts without being able to explain–or take some heat!–for them. So I truly thank everyone for reading this post and sharing their opinions!

]]> By: Melanie Wilson http://www.about-face.org/why-gabrielle-reeces-retro-recipe-for-marital-bliss-is-uh-wrong/#comment-135525 Melanie Wilson Mon, 29 Apr 2013 20:22:37 +0000 http://www.about-face.org/?p=14260#comment-135525 Gabrielle Reece clearly likes playing house -- "serving" the family, she calls it -- and hey, I suppose there's nothing wrong with it, as long as she's clear that this is her particular proclivity and not a relationship recipe for everyone. (To be fair, I'll bet there are ways that Laird serves their relationship, too, so maybe the arrangement isn't quite as lopsided as it sounds.) But telling girls that men speak only the language of food and sex? And that women must somehow accommodate this strange form bilingualism? Isn't it time we expect a little more of men? Hold them to the same standards we hold ourselves to? "Maintaining" men (sexually, gastronomically, or any other way) cannot be our job. It just can't be. Everyone needs to grow up, men and women both. Gabrielle Reece clearly likes playing house — “serving” the family, she calls it — and hey, I suppose there’s nothing wrong with it, as long as she’s clear that this is her particular proclivity and not a relationship recipe for everyone. (To be fair, I’ll bet there are ways that Laird serves their relationship, too, so maybe the arrangement isn’t quite as lopsided as it sounds.) But telling girls that men speak only the language of food and sex? And that women must somehow accommodate this strange form bilingualism? Isn’t it time we expect a little more of men? Hold them to the same standards we hold ourselves to? “Maintaining” men (sexually, gastronomically, or any other way) cannot be our job. It just can’t be. Everyone needs to grow up, men and women both.

]]> By: Erin http://www.about-face.org/why-gabrielle-reeces-retro-recipe-for-marital-bliss-is-uh-wrong/#comment-131682 Erin Fri, 26 Apr 2013 17:10:17 +0000 http://www.about-face.org/?p=14260#comment-131682 I think what works for them, is great ...for them. Don't judge. I think what works for them, is great …for them. Don’t judge.

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