Love ya, Ben. But do you have any idea how clueless your comments make you seem?

“I don’t want to be a Stay At Home Dad,” Ben tells the interviewer. “Work is very important to me. I like to work.” He even admitts to being “not very present in the rest of his life” because he’s “always always” thinking about the films he’s writing and directing.

Then he concludes by (wait for it. It gets better) saying that his wife “does everything.” And that if he has the time, he tries to just at least be a “physical presence” around the house… y’know at like bath time and stuff. But even then, his mind is “always going ‘how are we going to light that shot tomorrow? What’s the master shot for that scene’.” etc etc etc.

(Deep breath.)

(Another deep breath.)

Okay. Right. Now that I’ve calmed down, I can’t help but wonder what the reaction to this article would be if the interviewee was, say, Ben’s wife, Jennifer Garner. How would it go down if she stated—in an article titled “Jennifer Garner: No Apologies. No Regrets. No Bulls#*t” no less!—that she doesn’t like staying at home. That she prefers work and that even when she manages to show up and be counted at bath time, she’s really just phoning it in cause her mind is still off in La La Land worrying about her gown for Oscars, what time her trainer is coming and how many scripts she has on her bedside table.

My guess is that if Jennifer—or any mom in the public eye—said the same things as Ben there would be some kind of serious Mommy War s#*tstorm all up in here. Because despite all the choices feminism has created for us, and despite the media attention that Mommy Issues (like work/life balance and how to achieve some personal fulfillment while having a family) have gotten, I don’t think our culture would support—or better yet: tolerate—a woman who says she loves her work so much that she doesn’t really pay that much attention to her kids when home. And that’s because even if in real life there are women who admit to struggling, or who admit that they love their work as much as their kids, in the alternate universe that is our pop culture, celebrity mommies gush non-stop about how totally awesome! all the time! all things related to child bearing and family life are!

Can’t imagine it would go over well if Jen was all, “Yeah, I’d rather be doing anything BUT this right now…”

To wit:

Reese Witherspoon: “I don’t get up to make movies. I awaken to have an excellent family and to cultivate the highest life for all of us. Being a parent is such a great privilege; that I get to chaperone these beautiful little souls through life.”

Beyoncé: “I love changing diapers. I love it. I love every moment. I love it all.”

And reality star, Kendra Wilkinson: “My plan is not to go back to my original size [before having had a baby]. I want to keep the hips and I want to keep that hourglass shape. I think that’s so much sexier.”

Ultimately, I think it’s refreshing to hear a 30 or 40-something admit that full-time family life can be suffocating and mind-numblingly boring—especially given insane fetishization of baby bumps, yummy mummies, and happy days with toddlers that currently exists in our culture. I just wish that women could make the same statements publicly with no regrets or apologies, too.

Audrey D. Brashich is the author of All Made Up: A Girl’s Guide to Seeing Through Celebrity Hype and Celebrating Real Beauty, a body image guide for teens.

Lady Gaga exposes herself to celebrate and inspire triumphs over insecurities.

In a classy move, Lady Gaga has responded to the media frenzy surrounding her weight gain with positivity.

On her social networking website, Little Monsters, she posted four candid, unedited photographs of herself in skimpy underwear, accompanied by these captions:

“Bulimia and anorexia since I was 15”
“But today I join the BODY REVOLUTION”
“To Inspire Bravery.”
“and BREED some m$therf*cking COMPASSION”

Further to posting the images, she created a space on her website called “A Body Revolution 2013.” Here, she encouraged her fans to “be brave and celebrate with us your ‘perceived flaws,’ as society tells us” by posting photos of themselves that celebrate their “triumph over insecurities.” Already, many followers have posted images of themselves with scars, amputated limbs, and various other “flaws,” alongside bold statements that embrace those flaws.

It’s a ballsy and inspiring move, and one that certainly gives Gaga a lot of credibility. I’m impressed with the way she subverted the media scrutiny over her body, undermining the hurtful slurs with a brave and positive statement. Admitting her own eating disorder turns the tables on those who criticized her, exposing their maliciousness very effectively.

In the past, she has come under fire for displaying a contradiction between promoting self-love while simultaneously struggling with her own body image. Butshe is obviously dedicated to showing fans her authenticity, as this latest move shows.

She also used the images to promote the Born This Way Foundation, whose mission states: “We believe that everyone has the right to feel safe, to be empowered and to make a difference in the world. Together, we will move towards acceptance, bravery and love.”

A very worthy cause, in my book.

Tessa Needham finished her PhD in Performing Arts at the University of Western Sydney (Australia) in 2008. Her thesis explored the potential of performance to provoke change, and part of her research was Bodily, a solo theatrical performance about body image. She loves technology and the creative arts, and is passionate about the different cultural forces affecting the body image of girls and women. She teaches computers and does freelance creative work: www.tessaneedham.com.

The Runaways, trailer, 2010

Questions to Consider:

* What kinds of challenges do you think The Runaways faced in the 1970s?

* Is the music industry more accepting of women today, or are women still expected to act a certain way?

* What was unique about the band The Runaways?

What We Think:

In the age of Lady Gaga, Britney, and, of course, Madonna, it’s easy to forget that women didn’t always dominate the music charts. In fact, if you were born after 1980, you may not even realize the stifling sexism that once reigned supreme in the industry. Enter Joan Jett and Cherie Currie. In The Runaways, we get to see what it was really like for teenage girls to take on the chauvinistic music scene in the ’70s. Based on Currie’s autobiography, Neon Angel, the film takes you on the gritty journey the five-girl group took from complete obscurity, to meteoric success, to a devastating downfall. The film doesn’t go out of its way to glorify the girls’ sometimes self-imposed trials and tribulations, and you get a realistic glimpse of the consequences that go along with reckless sex, drugs, and rock ‘n’ roll. But make no mistake: the movie isn’t a cautionary tale of what happens when trouble-making girls get to the top. Joan, Cherie, and the rest of the band persevere against intensely ingrained stereotypes to prove that women can rock hard and make history. (by Michelle Konstantinovsky)

Take Action! Contact:

River Road Entertainment

2000 Avenue Of The Stars, Suite 620-N

Los Angeles, CA 90067

Phone: (213) 253-4610

Web site form: riverroadentertainment.com/emailUs.html

Floria Sigismondi (Director)

inquiries@floriasigismondi.com

Source: Jessica Simpson's The Price of Beauty on VH1, Episode 5

* What defines beauty in America?

* Does exposing your body make you more or less beautiful?

* What do you notice that different cultures value in terms of beauty?

What We Think:

The media loves to pick on Jessica Simpson, but there’s much more to the singer than her sometimes-goofy attitude (and once and for all, can we stop talking about her weight — whether she’s wearing daisy dukes or “mom jeans”?). Jessica hit the road with her two best friends for “Jessica Simpson’s The Price of Beauty,” which aired on VH1, and traveled the globe to explore how different cultures define beauty. In the series’ fifth episode, the gang headed to Marrakech and learned about the diverse ways Moroccan women dress — from head-to-toe coverings to cleavage-baring tops. Though the episode did include some unnecessary girl-against-girl aggression (the most liberally-dressed Moroccan woman criticized Jessica’s revealing short-shorts), it all ended on a moving note. Declaring that each country she visited taught her to “own my soul more,” Jessica marveled at how valuable inner beauty truly is. “It really is about the heart of a woman that makes her beautiful,” Jessica discovered. We couldn’t agree more. (by Michelle Konstantinovsky)

Take Action! Contact:

Jeff Olde

Executive Vice President of Original Programming

VH1

MTV Networks

1515 Broadway, 45th Floor

New York, NY 10036

Phone: (212) 846-8000

Questions to Consider:

* What are some of Alice’s personality traits in this movie?

* Did Alice need to be brave to be truly herself? Why?

* Did it seem important that Alice was pretty or wore makeup in this movie?

What We Think:

Disney isn’t exactly known for its portrayals of girls that go against the princess grain. But this time, I was pleasantly surprised by the character of Alice in the recent Alice in Wonderland. She is actually multi-dimensional (not just there to look pretty)! She’s courageous! She says she’s scared, but she confronts that fear to kill the Jabberwocky, then goes “home” to Victorian England to run a business with her late father’s business partner instead of marrying his yucky son. Her job in the film isn’t to be a pawn or to let things happen to her, but to take control over her circumstances. And it’s all done rather subtly. With more characters like this, I would like us to start thinking, collectively, as a culture, “It just happens that the hero of this film is a woman.”

Also see “6 reasons girls should aspire to be like Alice (in Wonderland)” on our blog.

Take Action! Contact:

Walt Disney Pictures

500 South Buena Vista Street

Burbank, CA 91501

Phone: 818/560-1000

Web form: corporate.disney.go.com/responsibility/feedback.html

Tim Burton (Director)

Tim Burton Productions

8033 Sunset Blvd., Suite 7500

West Hollywood, CA 90046

(310) 300-1670

* How do women’s magazines typically make you feel?

* In what ways does the article from Glamour differ from images in other magazines?

* What kind of products do women’s magazines try to sell you?

* What do you notice about the different messages of magazine articles and magazine advertising?

What We Think:

Praising a big-name women’s magazine may seem contradictory (isn’t this the direct source of all those airbrushed photos and deceptive advertisements?), but Glamour magazine has become a true exception. Consistently incorporating models of all colors, shapes and sizes, Glamour has stayed true to its promise of leading a Body Image Revolution. What’s most refreshing about Glamour’s commitment to diversity is that they don’t always have to pat themselves on the back for it. When editors included a nude photo of model Lizzie Miller flashing (gasp!) an un-flat abdomen, it wasn’t for a story about properly camouflaging imperfections; it was for an article on body confidence. And the magazine routinely incorporates plus-size models and models of color, without having to name them as such or relegate them to particular, “special” articles. Plus, the September issue’s “10 Things More Important Than Those Last Five Pounds” (at right) is, in itself, worth the magazine’s $3.99 price tag. (by Michelle Konstantinovsky)

Take Action! Contact:

Cynthia Leive, Editor-in-Chief

Glamour magazine

The Condé Nast Publications Inc.

4 Times Square

New York, NY 10036

(212) 286-2860

web: Feedback form on Glamour’s web site

Questions to Consider:

* Is Kotex’s commentary about other tampon commercials accurate?

* In what ways does this commercial raise awareness about how manipulative commercials can be? (And is this commercial an exception?)

* How does Kotex want you to feel about their product?

What We Think:

We love just about anything that self-incriminates by revealing the fakeness of advertising. Kotex’s “So Obnoxious” commercial raises awareness about how advertising can be so influential, but sometimes is so irrelevant to the product (like using a “believably attractive 18-to-24-year-old female” who is “wearing white pants” to sell tampons). The humorous “Reality Check” ad points out how tampon commercials make periods seem so enjoyable and soft and feminine (“I like to twirl — maybe in slow motion.”). An added benefit is that the commercial makes women ask themselves how they actually feel about their periods. (by Juliet Weintraub)

Take Action! Contact:

Kotex Brand

Kimberly-Clark Corporation

Dept. INT

P.O. Box 2020

Neenah, WI 54957-2020

(888) 525-8388 (USA, Canada and Puerto Rico only)

Contact page on Kotex web site: ubykotex.com/legal/contact_us

Produced by: Sensory Overload Productions
DVD available in Fall 2009. See the film’s web site for more details.

Questions to Consider:

* Is America obsessed with beauty?

* Do the beauty and fashion industries need to promote the thin body ideal to be successful?

* What are some mixed messages that girls get about their appearance and sexuality?

* Who decides what is beautiful?

What We Think:

In this award-winning documentary, filmmaker Darryl Roberts critically and light-heartedly tries to answer the question, “Is America obsessed with beauty?” He follows aspiring young models (and watches one crumble under the industry’s pressure). He interviews fashion magazine editors, celebrities, plastic surgeons, and everyday men and women. It’s a candid and enlightening movie that will make you feel more empowered and more aware, wondering, “Who decides what’s beautiful, anyway?” (by Kate Elston)

See more about America the Beautiful in our blog entry “America the Beautiful”: Why beauty is out of control.

Take Action! Contact:

E-mail the filmmaker, Darryl Roberts, your thoughts on the movie.

* What are these images selling?

* Who is the target audience?

* How does Title Nine want us to feel about these women? About ourselves?

What We Think:

There really aren’t enough catalogs that feature strong, active, happy women. Not only does Title Nine feature positive images of active women, the captions are also empowering. Next to the “Where are you your own best self?” image, the founder’s note reads: “Here’s to finding that place where we are our best selves and spending more time there.” It encourages women to be strong, grounded, and happy. I love that the woman with the volleyball is covered in freckles. Swimsuit ads usually sell the woman’s body, but this image with the woman with the surfboard emphasizes being playful and active.

Featured in Title Nine's Mid-Summer 2010 catalog

On their web site, Title Nine describes how they use their models: “All [of our models] are ordinary women capable of extraordinary things… Here at Title Nine it’s our goal that each of our model shots represents three things: competence, confidence and joy.” I would say that they succeeded. (by Juliet Weintraub)

Take Action! Contact:

Title Nine

Customer Service

6201 Doyle St.

Emeryville, CA 94608

Click here to write Title Nine a message through their web site.

(800) 342-4448 (toll free)

Source: E!, "Chelsea Lately," August 3, 2010

Questions to Consider:

* Who are the women in this ad?

* What is the message the commercial conveys?

* How would you feel if this commercial came on after a Victoria’s Secret commercial? (How about before?)

* What emotion does the advertiser want you to feel?

What We Think:

This ad is really funny, but with a purpose — I giggled at the faux beat poetry and mock spoken-word rhythm. But then it turns out the message is really quite lovely. Here are the lyrics:

For all the places I want to see

These legs are a vehicle

carrying me.

What more could I ask them to be?

They’re flawless.

(Flawless.)

Beauty magazines offer their tricks

Tell me…

I can’t imagine how your embrace

Would be any warmer on a 20-inch waist.

I’m flawless.

(Don’t ya know you’re flawless.)

‘Nuff said. (by Jennifer Berger)

Take Action! Contact:

John Holland, President and CEO

Fruit of the Loom

1 Fruit of the Loom Dr.

Bowling Green, KY 42103

Phone: 270-781-6400

Fruit of the Loom contact form: fruit.com/contact_us.shtml”http://www.fruit.com/contact_us.shtml