Anti-aging products are now a must for tween girls.

Finally! A cure for those prepubescent fine lines and wrinkles!

Yes, seriously.

Hoping to officially crush the innocence of childhood, Wal-Mart has rolled out a line of anti-aging cosmetics geared toward 8- to 12-year-olds.

The “youth preserving” line is called “Geo-Girl” and has 69 products ranging from exfoliators (to scrub off those gross, dead, OLD cells) to lipstick and blush (to achieve that much sought-after Lolita pout).

It gets better (i.e. worse). The products feature “texting lingo,” to appeal to tech-savvy tweens. Now your 10-year-old niece can sport “GR8″ lipshine, and further impede her ability to spell words without digits!

Seriously though, I get it. When I was a kid, I begged my grandma to buy me a kids’ makeup set from Walgreens. And when I ripped open the packaging at home, you know what I found? The pretty, pint-sized products were made entirely of plastic. They were just for applying “imaginary” makeup!

Sure, at the time, I was devastated to find I couldn’t smear pastel blue eyeshadow on my lids (who wouldn’t be?), but it seems pretty obvious to me now: real, usable makeup didn’t exist in the Walgreens toy aisle because it doesn’t belong there! Continue reading →