Tracy Anderson flaunts her "teeny tiny" body. Courtesy of Gerber?

Quit your whining and eat some baby food!

Okay, okay, so that’s not exactly what celebrity trainer Tracy Anderson is telling her clientele. But it’s pretty close, according to numerous reports.

Perhaps you read one of the various articles recently, claiming Tracy’s famous trainees (Madonna and Gwyneth Paltrow are just a few of the names she drops like anvils in every interview) consume nothing but baby food to keep their svelte figures.

Yes, that’s right, the same baby food you see in minuscule jars, mushed up beyond recognition into a rainbow of unappetizing hues. Now might be a good time to alert the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office that my sister and I actually invented this diet plan during one of her pregnancies. Except, we were kidding. Because, you know, it’s ridiculous?

Well, despite claims that Tracy’s been advocating a nutrition plan intended for toothless tots, her publicist recently told The Daily Beast that it’s all a load of (carefully blended, flavorless) baloney (sorry, I couldn’t resist).

Hmm, that’s pretty interesting, considering Tracy herself told Marie Claire U.K. that she “wanted something where you can eliminate toxicity, break bad habits but still have your digestive system going. That is when the baby food cleanse was born.”

Contradictory messages? Guess what — Tracy’s full of them. In the same breath, she told the UK’s Telegraph, “My mission is to give every woman the tools to look and feel their best and be able to do everything 100 per cent. To love their bodies, to absolutely not have cellulite, to not spend their money on gimmicks, to not have their emotions messed with. To not think they can’t lose the baby weight – no way! Don’t even go down that miserable road! My method is the best girlfriend you could ever have!” Continue reading →