Dislike. Time to step up, Facebook.

When I learned that they had only done so in response to pressure and threats of advertisers pulling ads, a result of a campaign by Women, Action, & the Media (you can check out their open letter to Facebook here), I was sorely disappointed, if not a bit peeved.

Come on, Facebook, really? Can’t you fight hate speech that targets women without being forced to do so? What took so long? Grrrr…

As I see it, the problem here is that as one of the most used social media sites, whether or not Facebook acts and succeeds at eliminating gender-based hate speech on their site will weigh heavily on the issue at large. If Facebook fails to follow through with their promise and act aggressively, it is going to send the message that this kind of speech on social websites is okay; that it is okay to treat and speak about females this way.

It is not, and it will never be. No question.

Personally, I am a bit of an “I’ll believe it when I see it” type person. I am skeptical that Facebook will follow through or will follow through to the degree necessary to evoke lasting change. Companies like this do have a tendency to “talk the talk”, but not “walk the walk.”

It puzzles me how some of these were EVER allowed on Facebook.

However, in the spirit of optimism, I will wait and reserve judgment until I see what Facebook actually does. Who knows, perhaps they will surprise me and make some changes that will change the social media world forever. And hey, they took the first step by admitting that they HAD failed at identifying and dealing with hate-speech. That is a good first step, right?

At this point, the ball is in their court. Only time will tell. What do you think (you can check out Facebook’s response here)?

Do you think that Facebook will step up and evoke lasting change? Or, do you think that they will fall flat once again? Have you ever come across gender-based hate speech on Facebook that has been bothersome to you? If so, how did you deal with it?

Katelin Jordan is a recent university graduate with a Bachelors Degree in General Studies, with concentrations in Sociology and Communications. While currently an eager jobseeker, her interest lies in social issues and social science research. She is the proud pet-parent of her two year-old Manx-shorthair mix cats, Chocolate Chip and Oreo.

That’s just the message the 26-year-old Behavioral Health Professional recently sent to Abercrombie & Fitch CEO, Mike Jeffries (anyone else tired of hearing that guy’s name?). But she also sent that message to society itself.

Jes has garnered millions of views on her blog, The Militant Baker. Her letter to Abercrombie & Fitch with an “Attractive & Fat” photo shoot included was wildly popular, and she was interviewed by several news stations.

All of Jes’s articles are passionate, revolutionary morsels that encourage her readers to stamp out fatphobia, in either more demurely motivational ways (e.g. “The second you stop looking for a skinny model in your mirror and start looking at YOU… is the second you will start to appreciate what you are.”), or more forthright ones (e.g. “F*ck their fascist beauty standards.”).

In addition to kicking the media’s physical fat-related standards in the face, Jes also feels strongly about increasing awareness of the psychological issues surrounding weight. She blogs a lot about mental health, and she writes with the care of someone who has had personal experience.

Jes Baker is Attractive and Fat.

And did I mention all of Jes’s body-loving pictures? If you ever feel bad about yourself after looking through a magazine with impossible ideals, just look at her “How to Get a Sexy Swimsuit Body in Less than 5 Minutes!” post. Or her article called, “I Wear What I Want: Sleeveless”. Or her “Body Image(s)” photography project. You really can’t go wrong.

Jes is a truly awesome role model. She fiercely challenges the media and the ideals it has created — something, with practice, we all should dare to do.

Elizabeth Frankel is a Minnesotan who loves psychology, theatre, and anything related to horses. She seeks to understand why the world is the way it is through critical thinking, and when that fails, she just employs sarcasm.

Beyoncé partners with Pepsi for success.

Beyoncé—her music and her image—is everywhere in the media these days. And what’s more, she is in control of her image and her influence.

In an article about her Pepsi deal, the New York Times referred to the artist and her empire as the “Beyoncé Business,” and later in the article, Beyoncé was quoted calling herself “a businesswoman.” The Pepsi campaign is clearly a partnership for the artist and company, not exploitation.

In her music, performances, and business dealings, Beyoncé is one smart, savvy star. Sure, she brings sexy into her music and dance performances, however, the camera focus is mostly on her mighty voice (head and shoulders) or complex dance moves (wide shots).

Her “Love on Top” or “Countdown” music videos are good examples. Also, her songs “Run the World (Girls)” and “Grown Woman” are explicitly about female choice and power.

In a recent NPR piece titled, “The Beyoncé Experiment: How Far Can She Go?” NPR Music’s pop critic, Ann Powers, made this statement about the artist:

“One of the things about Beyoncé’s saturation of every moment of our lives is that she is largely in control of it, which makes her very different than many tabloid stars. The nature of tabloid media is that it’s not in the star’s control… Beyoncé has almost completely taken command of her representation in the media, which is extremely unusual.”

Even President Obama is a fan of Beyoncé!

I’ll admit my initial intent in writing this post was to question how much power Beyoncé really has over her media image. I thought the H&M ad pushed a Beyoncé-the-Model image rather than a Beyoncé-the-Singer one.

However, after learning more about her career decisions, I agree with NPR’s Ann Powers that overall, Beyoncé is very much in control of her media image.

My college friend Rachel, also a Beyoncé über-fan, said this to me on the topic:

“Beyoncé owns her womanhood. She’s sexy and sparkly and strong. She writes songs speaking out for all the single ladies but at the same time is not afraid to align herself alongside her hubby, Jay-Z, by naming her current tour ‘Mrs. Carter.’ I think she represents a new wave of feminism in that she’s confident enough to admit she needs a man. And the man needs her. And not just because she’s Beyoncé.”

Well said, Rachel. For further proof of Beyoncé’s media prowess, check out her 2011 MTV VMAs performance of “Love on Top” in which she announced her pregnancy, or her performance at the 2013 Super Bowl Halftime Show. In both instances, she owns her image as a star and a woman.

Christine Quinn, Speaker of New York City Council.

For those who don’t know, Christine Quinn is the Speaker of the New York City Council. She is also the first openly gay person to hold this position, which has given her admittedly more popular attention than Speakers in the past have gotten, and has made her no stranger to unnecessary controversy.

Previously, she has also gotten the kind of attention that many powerful women in the media get — that is, negative in tone with the insinuation that she is pushy, too aggressive, and even vindictive. Let’s not even get into the fact that those words can define virtually anyone in politics.

But this profile of her was a bit more personal as it touched upon, for the first time, her attempts as a teenager to control an uncontrollable family situation—her mother’s illness and eventual premature death from cancer—by bingeing and purging.

I liked that she specifically addressed the issue of isolation and loneliness that went hand-in-hand with her bulimia—a couple of the reasons it can be so difficult for those struggling with eating disorders to reach out for help.

She also beautifully articulated her initial justifications for her developing bulimia (thinking that if she was the “perfect daughter” she could save her mother), as well as the feeling from purging that many bulimics underscore when overcoming their disorder: “For a brief moment, you’ve kind of expelled from your being the things that are making you feel bad,” she said.

Christine Quinn’s articulation of her eating disorder is inspirational.

Here’s why I think this matters: Quinn is right that eating disorders can be intensely lonely and isolating, and one of the big issues many survivors face is recognizing that others have felt this way and dealt with these issues in the past.

As a woman in a powerful, high-profile position, Quinn has given people who may be struggling with an eating disorder a picture of recovery that is very different than the narratives of more well-known celebrities who can be more difficult to relate to.

I also love that she states she doesn’t want to be seen as a victim and says one reason for wanting to talk about this openly and publicly is because, “I want to be affirmatively proud of what I have made my way through.”

Positively coming out the other side, while acknowledging the reality of struggle and pain, is the picture of reality for many survivors, one that I think is both inspiring and relatable.

Larkin Callaghan is an epidemiology and health communication fellow at the Mailman School of Public Health at Columbia University, where she also received her doctorate in Health Behavior and Education. She blogs regularly at her own site, I’m Not Tired Yet, about women’s and adolescent health issues.

There is even a Change.org petition against the new Merida, which has gotten over 230,000 supporters. Such a vehement response to the portrayal of a fictional character seems a bit absurd, but the redesign essentially ignores the successes of Brave, and represents a step backward for Disney.

Left: The Original Merida, Right: The New Merida.

In Brave, Merida represents the opposite of the traditional princess. What’s wonderful about her character in the film is that ultimately, she is able to escape from the traditional princess requirements and yet still be a princess.

Instead of just being a beautiful object, Merida uses her political power to enact change, and she is able to maintain her independence, adventurous lifestyle, and carefree appearance.

What’s also unique about Merida is that she seems very human. Unlike most other Disney princesses, she has human flaws and looks very realistic. Merida has an average-shaped body, a flushed and often dirty face, and wildly curly red hair. Children, who are often dirty, mussed, and disobedient, can relate to this.

The movie tells little girls that they can be a princess just the way they are, without having to conform to a traditional idea of femininity.

Ironically, the new Merida is dressed like a traditional princess, with a sparkly, shoulder-baring gown, perfectly curled hair and noticeable makeup.

Merida’s new outfit is almost laughable when compared to a symbolic scene in Brave, in which Merida must literally break free from her constraining fancy dress in order to shoot an arrow.

The new Merida has also lost her bow, a critical aspect of her character that allows her to stand up for herself and “fight for [her] own hand”. Yet with a vapid, vacant expression, the new Merida seems to be perfectly content with representing everything the movie Merida is not.

On one level, it’s encouraging that Disney has officially inducted this unconventional Princess into their lineup. And truly, Merida’s makeover could have been a lot worse (her makeup seems minimal and her dress is fairly practical).

Merida’s makeover was part of a redesign of all the Disney princesses, seen here.

But in restyling Merida, Disney is essentially saying that the movie Merida wasn’t a “real” Disney princess, that she needs makeup and traditional feminine characteristics to have their stamp of approval.

Some say the Change.org petition is an overreaction. One blogger pointed out that the fact that a woman is dressed up and wearing makeup shouldn’t negate her actions and character.

Will little girls look at the new Merida and immediately forget all the positive aspects of the movie Merida? Probably not. But given the immense influence the Disney Corporation has over children’s toys and products, the representation of their characters is significant.

Disney’s Princess Merida will be emblazoned on t-shirts, backpacks, and bedspreads, and thousands of children will buy Princess Merida dolls, which will likely come with a brush instead of a bow if Disney continues in this trajectory.

Merida’s creator, Brenda Chapman, is against the redesign too:

“[Disney has] been handed an opportunity on a silver platter to give their consumers something of more substance and quality — THAT WILL STILL SELL — and they have a total disregard for it in the name of their narrow minded view of what will make money,” she wrote. “I forget that Disney’s goal is to make money without concern for integrity. Silly me.”

A Merida Barbie as part of Target’s “Ultimate Disney Princess” Collection.

Disney has taken notice of the negative response to the new Merida, and they’ve even taken the image off their website and replaced it with the original CG Merida.

Catherine Connors, blogger and editor in chief of Disney Interactive Family, defended the makeover, saying it wasn’t a character redesign but a special look for the coronation:

“That image doesn’t represent a ‘new’ Merida replacing an ‘old’ Merida: it’s just another iteration of Merida, who is much, much more than just red curls and a green dress, she wrote in a Babble post. “The gussied up Merida on the coronation invitation is Merida gussied up for one of the most important events of her princess career.”

Hopefully this is really the case, and we won’t be flooded with “gussied up” Merida products—because the movie Merida still wouldn’t be interested in dressing up for any occasion. And ultimately, thousands of children will still watch and love Brave, and Merida will always be a positive female role model.

It seems that Disney’s narrow definition of a Princess is unraveling faster than the seams of Merida’s corset.

Sarah Hansel is a 23-year-old human female. She has a Bachelor of Arts degree in English with a minor in Women and Gender Studies from UC Davis. In her free time she likes to read, play video games, draw, and garden.

NOW’s Love Your Body Campaign gives us a great example of how we should all feel about our bodies, regardless of what other institutions might say.

I soaked up those weight loss commercials like a sponge, ready to fit in with the images on the television. I decided to really get serious about my weight after I got engaged, telling myself that I would FINALLY slim down to become the skinny woman I deserved to be.

But then I decided to stop buying into all that crap.

I had always been a supporter of the body positive movement… for everyone but myself. I wanted every single person to feel good about his or herself, but I still made faces at myself when I looked in the mirror.

I still signed up for Weight Watchers for months at a time, swearing to myself that this would be the day that I stuck to it to be another success story. But by turning away from the narrow-minded beauty standards constantly being reinforced in all avenues of the media, I’ve learned that I am a success story.

We applaud people for losing weight, for having the willpower and self-discipline to cut out some calories, but what about applauding people just for being people? For making it through the difficulties of every day, for overcoming crappy attitudes and remembering to smile?

Can’t we be proud of each and every one of ourselves for accomplishments that have little to do with how much we weigh? Is that too much to ask? I don’t think so.

Just recently, we learned about why the CEO of Abercrombie & Fitch isn’t interested in making or marketing clothing for those of us with a little bit of fluff. But instead of focusing on that, I think we all ought to hear about the responses to his hateful comments.

All of the people writing blog posts in response to his comments are reminding everyone that just because you’re fat, doesn’t mean you’re subhuman. My favorite has been Amy Taylor’s open letter, where she lets him know that there’s not a single thing wrong with not being able to shop at A&F:

And that’s the truth!

“…And while people like you are sitting at the cool kids table intent on holding others down, the ragtag team of not-so-cool kids is busy pulling others up… and we’ve become an unstoppable force driving the world forward.”

So yeah, it stinks when you’re surrounded with images of skinny-minis on TV, in magazines, and everywhere else in the world. But shouldn’t we focus on changing that, instead of worrying so much about changing our bodies?

How about we raise our own voices to make them louder than the negative, body-shaming voices that have been in charge for far too long? Let’s put body-lovin’ images in the forefront of our media so we can stop feeling bad about ourselves.

Hannah Seward is a graduate student from Maryland working on her Master’s in Sociology. She spends her days researching weight stigma, and her evenings cuddling with her catson. She wouldn’t have it any other way.

A not-so-subtle reminder that we should be ashamed of our bodies, but that we can fix it with their product.

 

I’m an average-sized, curvy woman and I love my body the way it is. Fat is not a bad word, however, I have to admit, my self-esteem took a temporary hit with this one.

He certainly didn’t learn that language from our family so I was left wondering where he came up with it. I realized that while we were watching TV, weight loss commercials were catching his attention and putting these terrible ideas about mommy’s body in his mind.

While my husband and I were busy making sure our son didn’t see TV shows or commercials glorifying violence and guns, there was something else just as sinister seeping into his very impressionable brain. We are concerned that these negative media messages will distort his view of women.

If our son constantly sees ads with women talking about wanting to lose weight, then he’ll learn to constantly focus on and criticize their bodies.

It’s hard enough for me to see these commercials and try to ignore them, but my son has yet to learn about the effects these negative media messages have on all of us.

He doesn’t know that advertisers are playing with our self-esteem in order to get us to buy their products. He doesn’t know that they’ll say anything to get us to hand over our money.

According to advertisers for weight loss products, no body is good enough the way it is.

 

He doesn’t realize there’s a difference between real women and those who have been edited to appear to be “perfect”. He doesn’t know about the lengths that women are pressured to go to in order to fit the “ideal” beauty standards.

If I do nothing, the negative media messages will teach him to value women’s appearances instead of their intelligence, their size instead of their humor, how well they fit society’s beauty standards instead of the goodness in their hearts.

If I do nothing, he might objectify women and think nothing of the violence that is committed against them. If I do nothing, he might tell other women that they’re fat.

I wasn’t planning on having a conversation with him about these things until he was older. His fourth birthday is approaching and I’ve already seen how media messages and social pressures have changed his view of the world. If I don’t get ahead of them, then it will be a lot harder to change any negative perceptions of women he may have developed down the road.

My husband and I want our sons to value women and their bodies as they are naturally, and to treat them with respect and not objectify them. The next time a weight loss commercial comes on, we’ll have that much needed conversation or turn the channel.

Gretchen Edwards-Bodmer is a curvy grrrl from Virginia with a Master’s degree in Humanities and Women’s Studies. You can find her musings about raising two boys in this crazy world at www.grrrlwithboys.blogspot.com and follow her on Twitter @GrrrlWithBoys

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Ayn Rand, author and philosopher.

Imagine my surprise when one discussion leader stated his opinion of her philosophies: “I tend to agree with her, but I don’t take her seriously.”

“Why?” we asked.

“I can’t get past her face.”

And so I was reminded of an age-old injustice: women who are not considered “pretty” cannot be admired as much as women who are.

I thought back to another recent minor scandal: President Obama jesting about California Attorney General Kamala Harris, calling her the “best looking attorney general in the country,” as if it set her apart.

This was not strictly sexist (though this CNN-contributor disagrees), but it touches on a preoccupation in our society with the way women appear outwardly, even when their (very important) jobs have nothing to do with looks.

Certainly, those women with appearance-centric jobs don’t escape the scrutiny.

In an interview on Today, Anne Hathaway refused to tell Matt Lauer how she lost 25 pounds for her role in Les Miserables, saying, “I didn’t do it to get hot, I did it to look like I was dying,” and (referring to a Les Mis premiere wardrobe malfunction), “I’m sorry that we live in a culture that commodifies sexuality of unwilling participants.”

Right on, Miss Hathaway.

Oklahoma City Thunder cheerleader, Kelsey Williams.

More recently, sports blogger Claire Crawford has been widely noted for her tactless article questioning the physical worthiness of professional cheerleader, Kelsey Williams.

The blogger muses about “what men like in women” and wishes Williams had “a little more up-top.” (The original source has since been removed, but here is a screen shot of the CBS Houston article.)

Somehow, I find this mindset even more alarming coming from another woman. We should not all have the same opinions, but shouldn’t we all be cognizant of the daily struggle where we, as women, are made noteworthy for our breasts first and our talents second?

Williams is a dancer and athlete. Harris is a top lawyer. Hathaway is an actress, who puts a great deal of effort into portraying her characters authentically.

So, why are society and media (and the president!) eaten up with their looks?  

Should I chalk it up to nouveau visual media and our penchant for all things sensational? In the case of my discussion leader, should I chalk it up to men being men? Or, in the case of Claire Crawford, women being I-can’t-even-say-the-word? I don’t think so.

It’s insensitivity.

It’s crassness.

It’s laziness—because it’s easy to look at a woman and pick her apart (or put her on a pedestal): Hooray for you, you’ve described what you see in front of your eyes.

But it takes someone who cares to look past a face to pay homage to what makes a woman truly worthy: her values, her talents, and, sometimes, the immense amount of confidence she has to have to wear an outfit this damn small.

Stephanie R. Lawson is a graduate of the Family and Consumer Sciences program at CSU Sacramento. She is interested in promoting healthy lifestyles and self-image to all people. She is passionate about all things literary, linguistic, and gastronomic.

Women, guilt, and food are constantly working together to sell products. But half the time, it’s hard to tell what those products are: the women, the guilt, or the food.

The great news? Dannon’s latest Light & Fit commercials have ‘em all, so you won’t have to figure out which one they’re selling.

A current Dannon commercial shows a woman going through her day while a man with a bullhorn follows her, shouting the names of foods she is avoiding.“Donut! Cookies! Chips!” etc. The woman responds by giving the man patronizing looks and telling him, “It’s not gonna happen.”

The fact that a man is representing the woman’s “guilty” thoughts is a bad sign. The fact that the man is labeling certain foods as “bad” is an even worse sign. And the fact that the woman is ignoring all of her cravings and eating yogurt instead? Well, bless her heart — that’s just going to end in disaster.

Dannon’s choice to have a male “guilt voice” is interesting. It likens the allure of men to the allure of food. Women in commercials have guilt over food because they view it as “forbidden” and “seductive,” just as they view men. The woman in the commercial is not only saying no to the man’s food, but also to the man himself.

The food the woman rejects is clearly being labeled as bad. But foods on their own have no moral values. People (like the man with the bullhorn) create them.

We see the woman be a valiant warrior in her fight against all those evil donuts and cookies in the world, but we don’t see the woman realize that yogurt does not provide the same flavor and fulfillment as actual meals. We don’t see her binge, then feel guilty, then diet, then binge, and repeat until epiphany: it’s okay to eat real food! In fact, several medical professionals actually recommend it!

How many times do companies have to make ads like this before there is a change? When will the day come when an ad shows a woman enjoying food, not because it’s low calorie, fat-free, or “guilt-free”, but because (heaven forbid!) it’s good?

I’ll leave you with this refreshing clip that hits the nail on the head.

Elizabeth is a Minnesotan who loves psychology, theatre, and anything related to horses. She seeks to understand why the world is the way it is through critical thinking, and when that fails, she just employs sarcasm.

Would you publish your diary from when you were a pre-teen on the Internet for the entire world to read?

From Facebook: “Working to undo the dangerous slut shaming in our schools, communities, media, and culture by sharing knowledge and experiences.”

This is exactly what 27-year-old Emily Lindin (pen name) is doing in the name of countering slut shaming, with a Tumblr blog she has named The UnSlut Project.

Emily says, “I was branded a ‘slut’ by my classmates and for the next few years of my life, I was bullied incessantly at school, after school, and online (this was 1997 in the days of AIM, and of course online bullying has only gotten worse).”

The term “slut shaming” has been popping up in media, especially on the Internet, for a little while now, but is recently making its way into mainstream conversations about young women, girls, and sexuality.

The term is used to describe the ways in which our culture criticizes and vilifies young women and girls for being sexual, having “too many” sexual partners, or perhaps not having sex in the “appropriate” way (ya know, for making babies—but only after your very heterosexual, traditional wedding).

Emily was “the 6th grade slut.” The UnSlut Project features unedited entries from her 6th grade diary (1997-1998 so far), including an entire cast of friends, enemies, and of course, boys, boyfriends, boy “friends”, and crushes… who are boys.

Emily’s diary travels through her on and off (and on, and off, and on, and off) relationship with Zach, it talks about various crushes, sexuality, jealousy, friendship, bullying, self-esteem issues, even thoughts of suicide, and all of the other ups and downs that come with adolescence. Her recollections of her daily life show us how quickly and dramatically rumors are spread and escalated in schools:

“Aaron said he had heard that Zach ‘ate me out.’ I wasn’t sure what that meant, but I said it wasn’t true, just to be on the safe side.”

End Slut Shaming.

Besides countering slut shaming, the publishing of Emily’s diary also rejects current assumptions about slut shaming and bullying—people often blame social media and technology for the bullying that is happening today.

While there is no doubt that bullying happens online and through text messaging, Emily’s diary shows us that it isn’t because of social media and texting; it’s because of the culture in which we live.

Whether we’re talking about Emily’s world in 1998 or another young girl’s world today in 2013, we are taught to follow very rigid, traditional gender expectations. These lead to dangerous double standards (such as “he’s a stud, she’s a slut”) that can result in cruel slut shaming and bullying that have even driven some young people to suicide.

No one, especially young people navigating their way through this crazy world, deserves to be bullied. No one deserves to be isolated and shunned for being a sexual being (or not).

I’ve definitely got my fingers crossed that this glimpse into a young girl’s mind, as well as the experiences shared by others on the blog, will help bring to light the problems in our culture surrounding girls and sexuality. I have even more hope that perhaps we can all work together to find solutions.

If you want to share your story with The UnSlut Project, you may do so here.