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Monster.com: Even a beaver violinist can get laid

Such a weird Monster.com ad… A beaver becomes a concert violinist and then drives off in his limo (complete with hot tub in back) with a blonde woman. Huh? I mean, really? he’s a beaver.

-Jennifer

“Keep your hands of my mama; keep your hands off my Doritos.”

OK, so this Doritos commercial. A man knocks on a door holding a bouquet of flowers. A woman answers, graciously accepts them, and invites him in to wait while she finishes getting ready. As she’s walking toward the back of the house, her date very obviously checks out her behind and gives her a really creepy up-and-down without her knowledge. Little does he know, the woman’s young son is watching from the living room.

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The man enters the living room and begins making small talk with the little boy, who is clearly upset with watching his mother being objectified. As the man reaches for a Dorito from a bowl on the coffee table, the boy drops his video game control and slaps the man in the face. “Keep your hands of my momma,” he says threateningly, “and keep your hands off my Doritos.”

This ad is an awesome departure from the usual Doritos fare of hot women eating chips. It’s not totally free of objectification–they seem to be winking at their typical commercial style even if they aren’t completely departing from it. There’s something problematic about the woman in the ad being compared directly to a bowl of food. But I’d like to think that this little boy would be just as mad at this guy and as protective of his mother even if the man hadn’t dared to eat his food. In fact, he drops his controller in anger before the man even enters the room.

-Melissa

Betty White to manly man: “That’s not what your girlfriend said!”

SNICKERS COMMERCIAL. Let’s not even discuss how weird it is that this commercial is apparently suggesting that a Snickers bar is going to get you up and running and ready to play some tackle football with your manly man friends. Because that’s weird. Let’s instead talk about the light of my life BETTY WHITE.

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She gets knocked down and her teammates begin to yell at her: MIKE! WHAT ARE YOU DOING? YOU’RE PLAYING LIKE BETTY WHITE OUT THERE.

And her response: “That’s not what your girlfriend said.”

SNAP IN A Z FORMATION, PLEASE.

Anyway, some kind girl (Mike’s girlfriend?) brings Betty White a Snickers bar and after a bite he transforms back into his reasonably attractive self and gets out there to play some football and assert himself as a real man.

Let’s be real: Betty White is fierce. So fierce that I don’t even care how absurd this commercial is or how much it doesn’t even make a little bit of sense.

So excited to see her on TV!

Focus On the Family ad not as anti-choice as we thought

Well, after all the hubbub about CBS going against their policy of allowing political ads, we sure thought the Focus on the Family ad during Super Bowl XLIV today was going to be the most vehemently anti-abortion piece we’ve ever seen. But no, it was just about Tim Tebow’s mom talking about how she “almost lost him” multiple times. That’s about little Timmy’s health … unless she almost aborted him multiple times.

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Mom became the 2nd woman to be tackled in as many commercials. Women, getting tackled?! That’s just ridiculous! Everyone knows that’s called domestic violence… wait a minute…. We’re keeping a tally.

And back to the game. We’re live-blogging these ads all game long, so stay tuned!

-Jennifer

On pressure, plastic surgery, and giving in.

Yesterday I realized that I am a Susan Boyle in a world of Heidi Montags.

Singer Susan Boyles decidedly plain appearance has gotten just as much attention as her beautiful voice

Singer Susan Boyle's decidedly plain appearance has gotten just as much attention as her beautiful voice.

Let me explain. After having 2009’s best-selling album, Susan Boyle has been heralded as much for her glorious voice as she has been scrutinized for her plain, frumpy appearance. Media attention has been as focused on her outward makeup as on her inner gift.

Meanwhile, reality television star Heidi Montag just had 10 plastic surgery procedures in one day in order to compete in what she admits is a superficial industry. The procedures included a brow lift, pinning her ears back, breast augmentation, fat injections in the cheeks and lips, chin reduction, neck liposuction, liposuction of waist and thighs, and a buttocks augmentation. Heidi has stated that she wanted to uncover her “best self,” but has since appeared on the covers of magazines and been the subject of articles and blogs all wondering the same things: Is she obsessed? Is she addicted to plastic surgery? Even Heidi’s own mother is reportedly “horrified.”

When Susan Boyle was laughed at prior to the triumph of her voice, I wanted to hug her and reassure her that she was worthy and beautiful. Continue reading

Cosmetic surgery hits home: When your mom goes under the knife

Right now, Karen has a scalpel to her face, and went under anesthesia thinking “When I wake up, I’ll be beautiful.” She’s deeply unconscious, and probably pretty bloody, as the well-reputed and trusted female cosmetic surgeon performs her “art”. She will receive an untold number of stitches and will be bruised for at least two weeks.

Karen*, who is in her early 60s, is my friend Sara’s* mother. Because Sara was my best friend growing up, it’s like Karen is my own mom. I grew up going to her house every day after school, and I saw and hugged her at her daughter’s graduations and wedding. I almost can’t bare the thought that she would want to change her face. Sara is, simply, distraught.

Karen’s face is one of the faces that has a permanent place in my mind, an unchanging, perfect face, just because it’s hers. I can’t even determine whether it is beautiful or not beautiful to others. Today she is choosing to change that face, and I really don’t understand her decision to be on the operating table today.

But really, this isn’t about what I think. I’m writing this piece about, and for, her daughter — my friend — Sara.

When Sara called me, crying, a few weeks ago, to tell me that her mom had her surgery date set for a facelift and eye lift, I felt a shocking jolt in my body. “I’m so disappointed in her,” Sara sobbed. “I mean, she always was my feminist mom. She was always telling me that my looks weren’t as important as my smarts. She’s so smart. She taught me to fight inequality. And then she goes and does THIS… it’s the ultimate ‘giving in’ to our messed-up culture.”

Continue reading

Anne Taintor adds a twist to images of women

DAMNSTRAIGHTAnne Taintor is an artist who has taken the iconic images of the 1950s era and turned them upside down with just a few words, giving the classic images new meanings.

The Anne Taintor products add interestingly witty layers to the one dimensional images of the “ideal” woman. Continue reading

Whole Foods Market to employees: No Fatties!

 

Jezebel very recently covered Whole Foods Market’s announcement of their new “Team Member Healthy Discount Incentive Program.” They addressed the most important bases: Whole Foods is asking its employees to reveal their health information in order to recieve a higher discount, Whole Foods CEO John Mackey is refusing to acknowledge why that’s problematic, and employees with a BMI over 30 are totally getting the shaft on a potential discount.

There are a million reasons why this “incentive” program is creepy and invasive, and the commenters at Jezebel do an awesome job at pointing them out: this program tries to turn employers into doctors, it very narrowly defines an idea of health, and it blatantly discriminates against larger employees.

I’m here to throw my voice into this as a former Whole Foods Market employee. I left the company about a month and a half ago for a number of reasons, one among them being this Orwellian nightmare.

I remember hearing late last summer the rumors that our company would soon be implementing a reward system based on weight. “Did you hear?” a coworker asked me as we were walking through the café to our respective workstations. “They’re trying to give skinny people a bigger discount.”

I found this hard to believe and I was pretty immediately outraged. I’m certainly not what the world considers “skinny”–was I going to lose something in this situation? As I investigated out of concern, I found out more things: the discount incentive program would be based on BMI, blood pressure, cholesterol, and smoking status.

The program was being developed more or less behind closed doors by the secret board of shadowy figures over in Texas, where Whole Foods’ headquarters is located. Employees, my in-store educator informed me regretfully, had no input on this. I couldn’t believe it. They wanted to police my body, but they didn’t want to hear my opinions about it.

It’s been six weeks since I left that company, and when news of the incentive program broke a few days ago, it was worse than I might have imagined. I could write for days about how unnecessary a program like this is—does my naturally low blood pressure make me less worthy of an employee? All of my super-positive customer feedback says no—but mostly I want to focus on the ridiculous use of BMI in this program.

Whole Foods lays out the groundwork of their new discount program

Whole Foods lays out the groundwork of their new discount program

The graduated discount level says one thing: thinner is better. It leaves no room for people with higher BMIs to be viewed as fully functional, and reinforces the very much untrue cultural notion that fat automatically equals unhealthy. It creates a hierarchy based nearly entirely on BMI—the lower your BMI, the higher your discount. And there’s no minimum BMI, either, so individuals who are categorized as “underweight” are rewarded despite the potential health risks of having a very low BMI.

I can’t even begin to address how triggering this environment could be for somebody with an eating disorder or somebody at risk for developing one. And the contradictory message this sends to fat employees is ridiculous: if somebody with a BMI over 30 doesn’t smoke and has good blood pressure and cholesterol levels—and trust me, this happens way more than people like CEO John Mackey and his “Whole Foods Market Scientific and Medical Advisory Board” care to admit—they still don’t get that extra discount. In the end, this is much less about health and much more about the enforcement of acceptable body types.

In his letter to employees, John Mackey said he thought that this program was “empowering and fun for team members who enjoy a challenge,” but what’s empowering about being told that you are less worthy than fellow employees? What’s great about feeling like you have to fit a very narrow, very specific mold of ideal health? And what’s fun about realizing that your contributions to your workplace mean less because of the inner workings (and outer appearance) of your body?

In my eyes, nothing, which is why I left. For a company that claims to promote “team member happiness and excellence,” Whole Foods sure gets a lot of things wrong.

–Melissa

Marian Call: Alaskan folk funk for the coffee counter/culture

Marian Call

Marian Call

When you look at today’s pop music scene, it’s easy to become discouraged. Women in song, in music videos, and on stage are expected to be oversexualized and Barbie-doll beautiful, and it seems as though talent has taken a backseat to sex appeal.

But in this gloomy musical landscape, a few bright lights stand out. One of these is the brilliant Marian Call, an Alaskan singer-songwriter who describes her style as “acoustic folk funk with a twist of jazz.” Continue reading

“Your baby is actually not beautiful, sorry.”

Are you tired of your baby girl’s androgyny? Can’t wait for gender roles to really take a hold on your child and tell her what’s what? Well don’t worry, now you can do more than dress her in pink and hope for the best! With Baby Bangs, the hairpiece for baby girls, you can get a jump start on enforcing beauty norms and make sure your daughter knows from the youngest age that her femininity is tangled up in her hair.

I bet this baby is way happier now that shes got this empowering new hairpiece that differentiates her from the boys in her playgroup. Oh wait...

I bet this baby is way happier now that she's got this empowering new hairpiece that differentiates her from the boys in her playgroup. Oh wait...

I really want Baby Bangs to be satirical, like those cat wigs that took the internet by storm a few years ago, and who knows—maybe it is. The web site appears to be down (that, or they can sense my feminist rage from across the internet and have thrown up that “403: forbidden” message just for me), but I’m not letting myself get my hopes up. In a world where a woman’s sexiness is determined at least in part by the length, shine, and silkiness of her hair, I can totally see a product like this finding a dedicated audience.

This is disturbing because it literally turns these baby girls into playthings. It transforms a living, breathing person into a doll to play dress-up with. When you think about it, the foreshadowing is absolutely epic: a girl raised on fake hair seamlessly gives way to a teenager obsessed with her makeup seamlessly gives way to a woman who can’t feel comfortable in her own body because she has never once had the chance to really own it. Her beauty has always been in the hands of somebody else. Even as a baby her natural state needed improvement. Are these really the messages we want to be sending our daughters?

A child is not an accessory, so let’s please stop treating her like she is.

——–

Melissa is About-Face’s newest blog editor. She likes sass, feminism, and tattoos, and gets weirded out by dogs in sweaters.

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